THE TIME IN BETWEEN

Tuesday, December 13, 2022

"Life is what happens to you while you're

busy making other plans" - John Lennon.

As November approached, I was planning out my holiday offerings. It's usually such a busy month for me and my business - cookie orders, classes and new this year - in-person cookie decorating workshops. I was also planning on hosting some online holiday baking classes again this year. Everything became topsy-turvy in early November when I was told that I have breast cancer. Then while waiting for my biopsy and the results, I was in limbo. What could I commit to? What could I do? Would I be available for the workshops? When would surgery be? Could I take on orders?

Breast cancer takes up so much space in your life and it definitely overtakes plans. Cancer also takes over mentally of course and emotionally too, which has resulted in significantly less capacity on all fronts. I am experiencing exhaustion, brain fog and a feeling of malaise as well - with a thick coating of positivity. HA, life eh?! It's work trying not to have my cancer be all-consuming.

I feel as if this is a test... to prove how strong I really am. I have no doubt there are so many lessons to be had in this journey and it's a battle of sorts every single day.

And to add more to what is already going on - cause really, why not? Along with all my cancer appointments and such, an additional 8 days worth of other family members' (Mom, Dad and Aunt) medical stuff over 2 weeks: appointments, exams, imaging, lab work pre-op appointments and even one ER visit for my Aunt who fell, luckily nothing broken - a nasty bump on the head and some bruising. Oooph... it's been A LOT! A whole f@@king lot.

Ideally, what I was hoping to happen in December was a quieter more regenerative time. Clearly, the Universe had different plans.

One of the appointments was my Dad's first orthopedic meeting a few weeks ago, which quickly lead to my Dad getting his knee replaced this past Saturday. Thankfully I was able to put-off my surgery (without negative consequences) to January in order to get Dad in for December. Logistically this made more sense - my Dad would be further along in his healing before my lumpectomy. It's been a juggling act with all the pre-op and now post-op, and life. Ahhh life...

So with my Dad now on the mend, I am elbow-deep in cookie dough, and back on track for all the holiday baking orders since my surgery is in January. Life has been a blur since early November. I'm halfway through a typically busy December and once the month is over, it'll be all about getting ready for my surgery and the down-time and radiation that will follow. I'll be working on my mental, physical and emotional health while creating an oasis for healing. I just need to get through December first.

36 more sleeps.