THE OTHER SIDE OF CANCER

Saturday, January 28, 2023

Between the naps and the doing-nothings, there's been a lot of thinking. Random thoughts of this and that. Creating lists of things I want to do. Memories of good moments and crazy fun times sprinkled with a few things I may have done differently in hindsight. Thinking about how I would like my life to be in the coming years and what the future holds. You know, the light stuff one thinks about when there's little one can do.

There's nothing like having time on your hands to evaluate the last 56 years of one's existence - an inventory of sorts. And there's no better time to decide and create the next chapter of my dreams. I have that opportunity. I have that luxury.

Sadly, that is not the case for a sweet friend of mine in her 40s. Last week, we received the devastating news that my friend may not be with us much longer. F&@K Cancer!

Patti was diagnosed in late 2019 and has courageously battled ever since. David and I stayed with her and her husband for a week in early January 2020 to lend a helping hand, drive to appointments, make meals, keep company and give her husband a break while Patti was undergoing treatment. It's been the craziest journey. Stops and starts. Surgery upon surgery. Radiation. Chemo. Various courses of treatment. Repeat. It's been a litany of procedures and a chaotic sequence of starts and stops. Three years on, and through the roller coaster of ups and downs, early December 2022 brought amazing news... the cancer was gone. Then it wasn't.

The Cancer. It's BACK and then some! Almost 2 months since the all-clear.

It's hard to describe exactly what emotion this is that I am feeling. Definitely awkward, and a heaviness too. Not sure it's guilt exactly, but definitely an uneasy emotion. While my cancer is a bump in the road, Patti's is not.

David and I had plans to go to Ottawa at the end of next week. I wanted to give Patti a squeeze one last time. There's a gift in knowing your days on this earth are limited, you get to plan your service and say your goodbyes.

Patti and I spoke on Wednesday. Thursday was a rough day. Friday morning David and I decided that we would head to Ottawa first thing Saturday. On Friday afternoon the doctor requested no visits. The time has come.

I'm gutted.

It's very early morning on Saturday and I am writing up a list of things I want to say to Patti before she transitions. I am going to audio record a love letter - thanking Patti for her friendship, reminding her of all the side-splitting belly laughs we shared, how I almost drove off the road when she told me she was engaged (this story always makes us laugh) and how much I love her.

THIS IS YOUR REMINDER...

Tell the people who matter to you how much you love them, tell them often, do the things that you have always wanted to do, let go of all the crap holding you back and start checking things off your bucket list!

UPDATE... Sunday, January 29

Patti transitioned at 2 pm today.

Patti-girl, you will live forever in my heart. I will smile every time I play a Michael Jackson song, eat a really good burger or wash dishes with the knitted cloths you made for me. Love you kiddo. You're at peace now with your son. ❤️

(pic of Patti and Greg, 2016)