SURRENDERING TO WHAT IS

“The ultimate act of power is surrender.”

- Krishna Das -

JANUARY 2, 2024

Well hello 2024! Happy New Year - though, for me, it's feeling more like Groundhog Day. I find myself preparing for my upcoming surgery to rid my body of breast cancer, AGAIN. I'm spending more and more time cocooning and setting up for my recovery - making meals to freeze, purging, organizing and tackling laundry mountain. It all feels so eerily similar to this time last year when I was preparing for my lumpectomy.

And yet, it's different. I don't have a surgery date yet, though my surgeon did email me today to let me know they expect a time and date soon. So now it's a bit of a waiting game. I meet with my surgeon a week today. In the meantime, I'm doing what I can to prepare.

Something that I have been spending a lot of time on is working on my inner state. I have returned to a daily meditation practice. I have also really explored what self-love and self-care truly mean to me. I am making myself a priority - putting myself first. I'm getting lots of sleep (even on New Year's Eve, I was in bed by 9 pm), going for lots of walks, eating really well, taking my supplements, and taking all the time I need.

There has been a whirlwind of emotions to work through. I am no longer angry. I have returned my focus to accepting what is - surrendering to the here and now. Putting into action what I can and doing everything I can to get ready for what is to come - spiritually, mentally, physically. It's a full-time job. And I'm also thinking through what, if anything, I can do in my business in the interim.

One thing that was very apparent during last year's journey was that I had to put everything on hold. I didn't have in place anything evergreen and could bring in income while I went through treatment and then recovered. And just as I was thinking of how to change that in the future, boom, I get hit with journey 2.0 without any opportunity to rectify the situation. I'm trying not to have that stress me out. Ommmmm. There's no time or room for that right now. I have some ideas, but development and implementation take time and that just isn't available to me right now as I remain in limbo.

And so I try and relinquish any resistance and surrender. Surrendering to the here and now. Surrendering to what is happening. Surrendering to the roller coaster of emotions. Surrendering to what is to come. Surrendering to the present moment. It's a work in progress.

R xx