IT'S A MINDF@@K

“The struggles within yourself — the invisible battles inside all of us —that’s where it’s at.”

- Jesse Owens -

DECEMBER 30, 2023

I won't lie and say it's all ok. It's NOT! I've been struggling.

With the lead-up to the holidays long gone and the festivities of family Christmas now in the past, it's been a tough few days as I mentally allow into my consciousness what is to come.

I have made an appointment for a breast prosthesis and bra fitting at Melmira.

I have read through the 42-page patient education document detailing: before surgery, getting ready for surgery, the day of surgery and after-surgery care.

I have looked at medical photographs and perused the internet for pictures of women showing off their scars and flat chests.

Flat. Not a term I have used before in my life. My boobs started in grade 4. At age 9, I went training bra shopping with my Mom and now I get to shop for a left boob replacement at age 57.

I didn't think I would be going flat, even for a little while. Since I was hoping to have breast reconstruction at the same time as having my mastectomy, experiencing flatness and seeing myself flat wasn't going to happen... well, until I was told that breast reconstruction is best performed later to reduce complications.

Flat.

Many women choose to remain flat - also known as "staying flat," "going flat" or "living flat." I don't know what I will end up doing. Time will tell, but for now no matter what I decide for later on... right now I'm wrapping my head around having a body part removed.

I'm losing my left boob to cancer. And that is a huge MINDF@@K!

R xx